Kingsley Read online

  “Be right back.” He says, leaning over to peck my lips before jumping down and stalking to the door. I watch, enraptured as his back muscles strain when he knowns on the front door. He shoves his hands into his pockets and waits for just a minute until a middle aged, friendly looking man with salt and pepper hair opens the door and smiles. They shake hands and he half-turns to holler something to someone in the house. I see them talk for a couple minutes before a young girl, maybe ten or eleven comes struggling to the door, holding a giant ball of gray fluff. It’s the size of a basketball, and all fur.

  I watch her hand the fluff to Kingsley and they all talk for a minute before saying their goodbyes. Kingsley walks back to the truck and comes to my side and opens my door.

  “Baby, this is Pickles.” He says, putting the oversized, fluffy cat in my lap. I stare at her in awe. I have never in my life seen a cat, this massive. She could be Kingsley’s spirit animal, she’s so huge; not just having long legs and a long tail, she’s got a massive body on her.

  “Oh my gosh.” I whisper. There are no words for this cat, there just aren’t. She stands up on my lap and twirls a couple times before plopping her body down to rest. Probably from having to hold herself up for those few seconds, that would really take it out of anyone.

  “This is a cat?” I ask. “Like, a regular cat?” I have to know. I bet she weighed as much as I did. Okay, maybe I’m embellishing a little bit, but not much. She’s huge! Kingsley laughs at me before touching his lips to my still openly surprised ones before shutting the door and jogging back around to his side.

  “Don’t you think she might try to eat Oreo?” I ask, wondering if he’d thought of that. This cat has to be hungry all the time.

  “Nah, she’s too lazy to figure out a way to get in his cage, I’m sure. I’ll keep an eye out though.” He says. “She seems to like you.” He mentions as we can both hear her purring over the sound of the truck and loud heater that’s on. She sounds like a small bear. She did seem sweet though, when I stopped petting her, she’d lean her head into my stomach for me to acknowledge her. She was soft too, she warmed my lap with her body and my hands with her long fur.

  “She’s sweet.” I murmur.

  “Unless you comment on her body. She’s sensitive about her weight.” He teases and I giggle.

  “I’m not kidding, watch.” He says and waits a beat. “Fat cat.” He calls and she meow’s loudly, not liking that. “Who’s a fat cat?” He says, saying fat cat a little louder this time. She meow’s longer and louder, making me laugh. She really seems to know that term, at least. They’ve played this game before.

  “Well don’t make her feel bad.” I coo, petting her behind the ears and around her face. She looks to Kingsley and if can be managed, looks rather smug. He chuckles and shakes his head.

  When we pull off onto a dirt road and pass a line of trees, we come to a stop in front of a beautiful, one story ranch-style home. It has a four car garage attached by what looks like a small corridor the same as the house. It’s gorgeous with a big spacious yard and lots of trees an acre or so back. It was truly a beautiful home.

  “Here we are.” He says, grabbing my bag from the floorboard where I’d placed it and asked if I could manage Pickles or if I wanted him to lug her. I said I had her but to be honest, it was a bit difficult. I was glad that he’d come to my door and helped us down. Joking or not, he was quite the gentleman….and shit. I smiled as he walked us in the door.

  “You can just drop her anywhere; she can take a tour of the house if she wants.” He suggested and I gently put her down. She bumped our legs and rubbed around for a few minutes before taking off to explore.

  “Hey, I thought I heard you come in. Hey Pickles.” Said a man who resembled a real life G.I. Joe. He was almost as tall as Kingsley and every bit of muscled. He leaned down to pet the cat and give her a good scratch before realizing that there was another person besides Kingsley here.

  “Jody, this is Morgan; Morgan, my brother, Jody.” He says, introducing us. I knew he referred to Jody and Jinx as honorary brothers so I wasn’t surprised that he was introduces as such.

  “Nice to meet you” I walked forward to shake his hand. He only nodded his hello but shook my hand gently. His face was impassive but I had a feeling that he looked that way a lot to hide what he was really thinking. He looked practiced.

  “You ate yet? I was thinking of picking something up, I need to run out and get cat shit and some party shit.” Kingsley said, taking my hand and walking me into the kitchen. “You want something to drink? We don’t do Georgia sweet tea, but we have some mildly sweet tea. We also have an array of juices, water and I think Gatorade as well. We have the purple ones.” He smiles and I’ll agree to a purple Gatorade, those ones are the best. He gets it for me and it’s ice cold.

  “I was going to make stir-fry.” Jody says from behind us, watching me warily. Kingsley doesn’t seem to notice or maybe I’m just not used to him, yet.

  “That sounds good, you like stir-fry, baby?” He asks me, absentmindedly, rummaging through the dishes for a small bowl to put water in for Pickles.

  “That sounds good.” I agree. I know they eat healthy around here and I could use some of that.

  “Okay.” Jody says, pulling out the stuff to make it and Kingsley comes back to me.

  “I’m going to run out and pick up some stuff, do you want to go with me or you want to stay in where it’s warm? I’m sure Jody would like the company.” He says, glancing at Jody who has his back turned to us. I’d like to get to know Jody so, I agree to stay here. He showed me to his room, which was a beautiful room with a giant, California King sized bed and warm, rich colors that were the color of Kingsley’s eyes all around. Everything was cherry wood and it all looked cozy, I couldn’t wait to just lay on his bed.

  When Kingsley left, he kissed me long and sweet in his room and then walked me out to the kitchen with Jody. He said he’d be back soon and Jody only nodded.

  “Can I help with anything?” I asked Jody as it was just he and I there now. I didn’t want to stand here awkwardly or sit and watch him.

  “Nah, it’s from a bag and the rice from a box. There’s not much to do.” He says, getting everything situated and boiling the water for the rice. He’s done in a couple of minutes and comes to sit across from me at the table, while things heat up.

  “So, what’s your story, Morgan?” He says, looking me over. He doesn’t say it accusingly but I can tell that he can tell that I’m sick. I have that “cancer” look to me.

  “Well, I’ve just recently met Kingsley but I like him. He’s very nice.” I say. I’m not sure what it is that he wants to hear but he makes me feel like I’m being interviewed for foster care all over again. Like I should have to really paint myself in a good light or I won’t be accepted. I hate this feeling.

  “He is nice. Almost too nice, sometimes it’s easy for people to take advantage.” He throws that out there. I can feel the confusion on my face. I don’t want him to think that I’d take advantage or Kingsley. I wouldn’t do that.

  “I wouldn’t do that.” I say somewhat defensively but it’s not nearly as convincing as I’d wanted it to be. I’m embarrassed that he thinks that.

  “I didn’t say you would.” He tilts his head and studies me. It makes me feel uncomfortable because I don’t know what he’s thinking.

  “You’re sick?” He asks, sympathetically. His face didn’t change but his tone did.

  “I am.” I answer honestly, no point in denying it.

  “So, you and King…. are doing what?” He inquires a little condescendingly. I try to call up my defenses but I’ve often asked myself this very question and didn’t know an answer to give him.

  “I like him.” I whisper honestly. It’s all I could say because I didn’t know what would happen in the future, I wasn’t even sure I had a future.

  “He likes you too. I can tell.” He says, making me smile. “Is that fair?” He asks and I lose the smile, immedi
ately. I’ve thought that question more times than I could count as well. No, it isn’t, it isn’t at all. Not for anyone involved. I shake my head no, because I couldn’t find my voice if I wanted to. I get that this was his brother, for all intents and purposes and he was probably just looking out for his family. Still, it hurt that he was bringing to light everything that I, myself, had questioned about what the hell I was doing, getting involved in any way with anyone right now. I push my chair back without looking at Jody and excuse myself.

  “Sorry.” I say quietly, my voice thick with emotion. “I’m just going to go in here and lay down for just a minute. I’m not feeling so well.” I tell him honestly and make my escape to Kingsley’s room. The bed smells like him and I can’t stop myself from letting go of the tears that threatened the second Jody asked me if it was fair. It isn’t fair, it isn’t fair that I just found someone that makes me feel so much and I can’t have him; not in good conscience. It’s not fair that I know in my heart of hearts that if I spent any more time with Kingsley Kennedy that I’d unequivocally fall head over heels in love with him. And it most certainly wasn’t fair that he might feel something for me too only for me to die in a couple weeks or months, however long it took for the cancer to take me, if an infection or surgery didn’t do it first.

  I had to let him go.

  The pain that lanced through my chest at the thought was enough to make me fold in on myself and grab his pillow and curl around it. All I could do is cry. I’m glad he wasn’t here to witness it. It hurt, this was almost worse than after treatments, the pain of knowing I had to say goodbye to him. I had to do what’s fair. Jody was right about that. His execution was shit but his point was made. I wondered if it would be okay if I laid with him for a while, if I selfishly took some warmth and maybe a memory or two for when I needed them. No doubt I would need some place to go over the next couple weeks to save me from the fear and anxiety of what was to come. I could call up a night with Kingsley and just remember. One more night wouldn’t hurt any more or any less, would it? It would hurt all the same.

  I had somehow fallen asleep by the time Kingsley came in and when I opened my eyes, his smiling eyes were staring back at me, lying close beside me, seeming to just have been watching me sleep. His happy eyes are beautiful and it breaks my heart all over again. I hadn’t planned to, but I need to kiss him. I lean forward and touch my lips to his, surprising him with my forwardness. I scoot closer to him and clench his shirt in my fists as I try to pull him closer. He wraps his arms around me and deepens the kiss; gently caressing my back and my arms. Warmth, is what I feel with him.

  “You okay?” He leans back and asks me. I can only nod, not wanting to lie to him. I’m not okay, I’m so far from okay; but I’m selfish because I want him. I want to kiss him until I can’t breathe. I want to feel him hold me, tight; together. I want to remember his smell and his voice and his kiss. I want to feel him move inside me, claiming my body like he did my heart, without realizing. Too soon? Probably. But, time is measured differently when you may not have much of it. I was certain of that. I pressed my body against him, rolling my hips and feeling his hardness against me. He groaned into my mouth, making me groan at just the sound. He sounded carnal and oh, so, sexy.

  “What’s all this about?” He asks good-naturedly.

  “I want you.” I say seriously, making his face change at my seriousness.

  “You do?” He asks, in surprise. I nod eagerly.

  “I want you too, Morgan; but we have time, we can wait.” He tells me, running his fingers across my face, studying my expression. We didn’t though, we didn’t have time.

  “Please.” I want to beg. I feel like I have to have him now. He wasted no more time. He rolled me to my back and covered my body with his own, cradling my face with his hands.

  “Are you sure?” He asks, searching my eyes for hidden meaning. He had to know something was off, I would have never been so brave enough to ask for this otherwise. He seems satisfied with my nod though, because he leans down and kisses me softly. Where I thought we were going to rip each other’s clothes off and go at it like I desperately want to; he takes his time undressing me, kissing me, worshiping my body with his tongue. I lie back and just feel his strength around me; groping his arms and chest and back, wherever my hands can reach. I take time, flicking the bars in his nipples as he hisses in pleasure and kisses his way down my body.

  He slid me into his mouth and gently fondled me, he slicked his fingers enough to slowly torture me to the highest peaks before bringing me back down again and then did it all over again. By the time I was stretched good and ready for him, I was begging him to take me.

  “I need you, I’m ready. Please, Kingsley, please come inside.” I whispered into his mouth as he lowered his body onto mine, rubbing me deliciously in all the right places.

  “Baby.” He groans, kissing me with all the passion and affection I’d yearned my whole life for.

  “I need you.” I whisper again. I needed him more than I needed anything else in that moment.

  “You have me.” He says, looking directly into my eyes as he slowly pushed himself inside me. The relief, the burn, the tightness; it was all I wanted. I closed my eyes on the onslaught of emotions I was feeling at the moment. I couldn’t dare let him see the war raging inside me.

  “Look at me.” He said softly, slowly pushing in and pulling out of my body. “Look at me, Morgan.” He says, licking my lips and rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs. Nothing about this is what I pictured when I thought of how this would go. It’s better. So much better, he’s making love to me. I can’t help the tears that fall as I open my eyes.

  “Baby.” He whispers, kissing me once more. I clutch his body to mine, holding him tightly, silently begging him with my body to hold on. “You’re so sweet.” He says, into my neck, rocking into me, slowly. He feels amazing inside me and it occurred to me, neither of us even mentioned a condom. He’s bare inside me. I wasn’t worried about it; not only did I trust him but I couldn’t have cared one way or another what happened to me after this night.

  “You feel so good.” He whispers in my ear. “Nothing feels as good as you feel wrapped around me.”

  “Kingsley” I whimper. It’s all I can do; the way he’s stretching my body to fit him, the way he’s anchoring me, making me feel like a part of him belongs to me. I can’t handle the way he makes me feel, it’s consuming me.

  “So good, baby.” His hips speed up and I can feel his urgency; he’s close. So am I, feeling him deep inside me and his stomach rubbing my hard cock, smashed between our bodies. His smell all around me, his taste in my mouth; it’s all too much.

  “You’re gonna make me come.” I whimper quietly. “Kingsley, you’re gonna make me come.” I grab his face and hold his eyes with mine as he slams harder inside me now, pulling the orgasm from somewhere deep inside me.

  “There you go, baby. Give it to me.” He says, eyes roaming my face.

  “Oh, King, I’m coming.” I say urgently; letting myself go. My eyes close and I throw my head back and almost scream my release. Kingsley loses control, shoves his face in my neck and pounds me, hard until he releases inside me. I can feel him, coating my insides and I want to keep it with me, forever. Is that weird? Probably, but nobody will ever have me like Kingsley just did. Not ever.

  He kisses my shoulders, my neck, my face, my lips. He slowly slides out of me and lays down beside me; pulling me into his arms until we both catch our breath. I feel his hands roaming my skin as I close my eyes and just enjoy this moment. I’ll never forget this, not if I live only two more weeks or a hundred and two more years.

  Kingsley falls asleep wrapped around me; I can’t help but take a bit to memorize his sleeping face. He looks so relaxed and his lips are curved just slightly into a smile. I can’t believe I initiated that, it’s so out of character for me. Still, I’m not sorry. I lay here for the shortest hour of my life before telling myself that I need to go. Clean cut, right? He’ll
realize later this was the best way, right? I’m doing the right thing, for him.

  I dress quickly and quietly before risking another second to sit on the bed and look at him. I could count myself lucky, give thanks to whoever sent him to me. I was lucky to have gotten to know this feeling; I was sure of it. I would miss him down to my soul though, I was going to miss him so bad.

  Reluctantly, I walked on socked feet to the kitchen and called a cab. There was a post card on the fridge that Kady had sent from school, it looked like, so I’d seen the address and relayed it to the company. They said someone would be here in ten minutes, which was a relief. I didn’t want Kingsley to wake up and ask me where I was going. The night had been perfect with him.

  I was in danger of breaking down but I scolded myself to wait until I was in the privacy of my own home and I could lose myself in grief then. I slid my shoes on after a few minutes in the kitchen to waste time then figured I should probably wait outside. I didn’t want the cab honking or something and gaining attention of my escape.

  “Sneaking out?” I jumped just before I got to the door. Jody was sitting in the living room, TV muted, his head turned towards me.

  “I’m leaving because I love him.” I said firmly, finally allowing my tears to flow. I opened the door and looked back at Jody who was looking a lot like a stricken teenager in that moment. “Take care of him for me, okay?” I ask and shut the door on my way out. Luckily, fucking luckily, the cab was pulling in as I was walking out. I don’t remember the ride home and after paying him and walking in my front door, I allowed myself to collapse. Being selfless was hard, but I needed to be fair, right?

  Chapter 13: Kingsley

  When I’d gotten home from the store, no one was in the kitchen. The food was on the burner, still warm but there were no dishes in the sink or any evidence of anyone having eaten. Seeing Jody’s door shut, I go to my room and see a sleeping Morgan on my bed. He looked troubled, even in sleep. I lay down beside him and studied his sleeping features. I imagined that he had the world on his shoulders about now. I know he was worried about his surgery in a couple weeks and I could tell that the medicine he took, wore him out. Although it was nothing like his radiation treatments, if the one I’d witnessed was any indication.