Keeping Gavin Read online

  “Of course, is everything okay?” I question, hoping he’s not having a problem with one of his clubs. It had taken me months to get the details worked out from all the mistakes from the last person that had represented them.

  “Oh, yeah, nothing major,” he answers, easily brushing off my concern. “Marcus just graduated from Cornell.”

  “Already? Wow!” I exclaim, rather impressed with the blonde wiseass if I’m honest. How in the world was that even possible? I’d swear that Marcus wasn’t even college-aged yet. Had time flown by that quickly? Marcus had been significantly younger than us and every bit the stereotypical bratty little brother of Donald. I realize now that I hadn’t seen him in probably close to eight years.

  “Well, he’s moving back home until he can figure out what he wants to do with his degree in agricultural science. Our mother pitched the mother of all fits when I suggested getting him a job at one of the clubs, so I was wondering if I could talk to you two about an internship? Maybe he could take over Ashlynn’s job when she –“

  “Oh, I hadn’t, it’s uhm, there’s time for that?” Ashlynn interrupts, looking about twelve different kinds of embarrassed, and more than a little bit guilty.

  “Ashlynn going somewhere?” I ask, genuinely confused. I knew that she was planning on taking steps to further her career at some point, but I hadn’t heard of anything immediate. I’d also been giving her and Donald a wide berth over the last month, so it is quite possible that I was just a shit friend and hadn’t noticed.

  “Well, not yet. Eventually, though?” Looking unsure, I knew I needed to get my head out of my ass and be a better friend to her. To both of them, if I was letting myself be reflective.

  “Ashlynn,” I call softly to get her attention, though I can tell that she wants to look anywhere but at me. I see guilt and heartbreak in her eyes, though she shouldn’t feel any of those things. I need to fix this. “Come see me after lunch, please? I think it’s time we talk.”

  I shoot her a small smile and feel like an even bigger asshole when her shoulders sag in relief and she heaves a heavy sigh. She looks as though she’s had the world on her shoulders for a while, and I suspect it’s probably felt that way. Turning my attention back to Donald, I look in his devilishly handsome eyes and vow to be the kind of friend that he’s been to me over the years.

  “I’ll check with Nolan and set something up this week, and please, congratulate your brother for me. I’m sure we can find him something that wouldn’t keep your mom up with worry.” I smile at him, resigning myself to a promise to let this silly little decade-old crush go. If I was honest with myself, it probably had little to do with Donald personally, and more to do with my idea of him as a whole.

  I mean, sure, he’s gorgeous, in a typical businessman who can fill out a suit with mouthwatering perfection kind of way. And he’s the kind of sweet that would walk your grandmother home from church and then come in and sit a spell just to give her company. He’s a people person, having never met a person he couldn’t schmooze or win over; and he cares, about everyone, no matter who they are. He’s affectionate and sincere, and both possessive and protective, but in that sexy way that makes you feel cared for and adored. He embodies everything I ever longed for in a partner, but it was time to let that fantasy go.

  “They’ll both be pleased to hear that,” Donald chuckles, keeping an unsure eye on Ashlynn. I suspect that he didn’t mean to kind of out her the way he almost did, but he didn’t need to feel guilty. I was the one making things uncomfortable.

  “Please thank her for me? I got her Christmas card a few days ago but I haven’t had a chance to give her a call yet.” It’s me who is looking guilty now, I should kick my own ass for being a jerk to Mrs. Matlock.

  Once upon a time, she was the mother I never had. Donald had brought me home on more than one occasion, but my most memorable was probably one early fall evening, I was in trouble for something or other at home. I knew that once I got back, my foster dad would make me work in the garage until well after dinner and I’d probably not get a chance to eat anything. I’d grabbed a snack-sized bag of chips from the vending machine at school and I had two bottles of water saved over from lunch. I knew it would likely make things worse for me when I did manage to stroll in, but even at fifteen, I was already so tired.

  Mrs. Matlock took one look at my bruised cheek and pulled me into her ample chest and held me there, awkwardly, as she fussed and fawned over me. After inviting me to stay for dinner, she asked for my phone number and with a deceptively kind voice, she asked my foster mother if it was okay if I stayed for dinner. Deceptively friendly right back, my foster mother, Candice, agreed. That night, I ate like I never had before. Cheesy meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans, dinner rolls the size of my fist, and turkey stuffing that even out of a box was orgasmic.

  From that day on, Mrs. Matlock considered me an extended part of her family. I was always welcome in her home, at her table, and in her life. She definitely didn’t deserve my brush off, though I think she probably understood it. Still, I’ll send her something sweet for the holidays and call and catch up. It won’t make up for being a selfish dick, but I’d let her hook me up on a couple of blind dates with sons of her book club buddies and all would be forgiven. It wasn’t as though I was getting my own dates these days, so I might as well.

  “You guys enjoy lunch, I’ve got some calls to make that I keep putting off. Ashlynn, we’ll talk later?” I ask, looking pointedly at my receptionist turned friend.

  “We’re going to Caddy Shack’s, you want some fried cheese sticks?” Donald offers with a knowing smirk. I’d never been much of a fried food fan, which sucked considering his mother was all about comfort food and the delicacy of a fried anything. Still, I’d never turn down an order of greasy cheese sticks, especially from Caddy Shacks.

  “Stupid question,” I scoff, grabbing a cup of coffee before retreating back into my office. I didn’t miss Donald's easy chuckle, so I hoped my attempt at getting over myself was acknowledged. I know I need to apologize to him as well, but for fuck sakes, baby steps.

  Closing the door behind me, I leave them to their flirting while I grab my daily calendar and see which one I could mark off next. I also order Donald’s mom the biggest bouquet of pink carnations.

  Chapter Two

  Gavin

  After a lengthy call with the courthouse where I spent more than half an hour on hold, I managed to squeeze in another two calls before my next appointment. My cheese sticks were cold and soggy by the time I attempted to find a minute to eat them, and in the end, I had to throw them away. They weren’t appetizing at all. Thankfully, as I was pouring my fifth cup of coffee of the day, Nolan comes in with an armful of heaven from his aunt Sarah’s café.

  “Please tell me you have your uncle Henry’s vegetable soup in there. I’m starving,” I whine, earning a devilish chortle from my partner as he sets the bags on the small table in our kitchenette.

  “Oh, you’re back later than I thought. I had to reschedule a call from Donna Murphy, she’ll be calling at six. I forwarded a notice of it to your phone,” Ashlynn saunters in with a see-through tumbler full of something thick and green. I thankfully can’t smell it from over here, it looks disgusting. “And you’re finally off the phone. I was about to unhook your office line for a few minutes if you didn’t unearth yourself this afternoon.”

  “Yeah, I was on hold with the courthouse for a half of a millennium and then I was transferred all over Brooklyn trying to find some missing papers that I had biked over. They got sent to Bay Ridge.” I fume, still pissed off that the time-sensitive paperwork I sent to be delivered were re-routed to the wrong building. They were due today.

  “It was Tad, wasn’t it? You used Tad?” Nolan asks, scoffing as he hands me a small bowl of vegetable soup. If I didn’t know him so well, I could’ve kissed him.

  “Yes, I used Tad,” I gripe, knowing that the kid is unreliable on his best day, even if he wasn’t stoned out of his mind. I also know that his mother is battling pneumonia for the second time this winter and he’s the only one with an income to support himself, his mother, and his little brother. Anytime I have small jobs, especially ones that would be a pain in the ass for me to do myself, I send Tad.

  “Was he baked?” Nolan asks, though Ashlynn doesn’t give me time to reply.

  “When is he not baked?” she answers knowingly. I only shrug, holding out a hand for half of the grilled chicken sandwich that Nolan unwraps. He hands it over without a word and we all sit around the table and dig in. Ashlynn sits with us, declining the delicious soup in favor of her cup of goo.

  “Everything go smooth with the Jamison kid?” I ask around a spoonful of heaven. Nobody makes fresh vegetable soup like Nolan’s uncle, Henry. The small café where he met his future husband is a staple in our office, as they regularly feed us workaholics so we don’t have to venture too far for sustenance.

  “He took a plea. He’s looking at five, but he’ll likely only do two. It was the best I could do.” I know that had to be hard for him, as his client had beat the shit out of the drunk driver who was responsible for the nine-day coma his mother was subjected to because of it.

  Nolan felt it was justified, though we know the law says you can’t go around doling out vigilante justice, but still. I didn’t blame him for losing his cool after seeing the guy not even a month later at a club, overly intoxicated and ready to get back behind the wheel. He said he hadn’t planned to follow the man out to see if he was going to drive, but when he saw him fishing in his pockets for his keys, his rage took over. He was charged with aggravated assault and intimidation.

  “How’s Tanner? Is he excited to meet your folks?” Nolan’s face breaks out in a wide grin as Ashlynn asks about his
boyfriend.

  “Nervous as hell,” Nolan replies. “I can’t wait for mom to get ahold of him, she’s already adopted him.”

  “I bet.”

  “What about you? You still set on staying home and binging true crime documentaries the entirety of break?” Ashlynn asks me, the friendly smile that I’ve come to know and love is ever-present on her beautiful face.

  “Yep. It’s tradition,” I shrug, knowing they don’t understand, though they still give me the space to do what I feel I need to. It isn’t as though I hate the holidays or anything, I just don’t see the point of celebrating when it’s just me. I could go home with Nolan or Donald, or hell, probably even Ashlynn. I didn’t because it seemed to be a jolly time for most folks and I found it too hard to feign joy and merriment.

  “Shit, it’s almost three,” Nolan says, jumping up from the table and tossing the last of his sandwich back in the bag as he wraps up the remainder of his soup. “I want a round at Bosco’s before we leave.”

  “Count me in,” Ashlynn quips, visibly wincing as she takes a swig of her juice-goop.

  “I’m there,” I agree as well, as Nolan taps my shoulder on his way out. While Ashlynn sits pretending to enjoy her supposedly healthy, whatever it is that she’s drinking, I take a moment to pull up some courage before broaching the subject I’ve been avoiding.

  “Did you enjoy lunch with Donald? Your flowers are really pretty,” I tell her, not knowing where to start. It would seem that just blurting something out there would have to suffice.

  “Oh, Gavin. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know he was going to do that,” Ashlynn drops her cup of goo to the table without closing the lid and I watch in horror as a droplet of it flings itself in my direction. It thankfully misses my general area, but I don’t miss the desperation in Ashlynn's voice. I feel like shit once again.

  “Okay, one, you have no reason to be sorry,” I tell her, honestly. “Two, I realize that I’ve been a little shady about it and I’m sorry about that. I truly think the two of you make a wonderful couple.”

  “You do?” she asks, and dare I say that I hear hope in her tone.

  “I really do,” I answer her sincerely. “I think anyone to have you would be incredibly lucky. I let my own feelings get the better of me when in reality, I don’t think I have feelings for Donald, I think I have feelings for the idea of Donald. It was immature and selfish of me.”

  “I would never want to come between the two of you, Gav. You’re –“

  “He’s my friend, that’s all,” I interrupt her, feeling for the first time since I realized I had feelings for him, that I’m okay with that. “You’re also my friend, and you’re both beautiful people, both inside and out. He’d be so lucky to have you and I think he knows it.” I smile as she attempts to hide how happy that makes her. “Please don’t push him away because of your loyalty to me. I want you both to be happy, and I think you could be, together, if you want to be.”

  “I like him so much,” Ashlynn whispers, as though admitting that out loud to me might be tough to hear. I smile sincerely, honestly happy to hear that. It’s surprising to even myself, so I expect her dumbfounded expression.

  “Good, so tell me about lunch. Did he open all of your doors and pull out your seats? I know he does that. Oh, does he order for you? I find that incredibly romantic,” I inquire, spooning more soup into my mouth as I wait for Ashlynn to come unstuck and answer. When her shoulders sag in relief and a gorgeous smile lights up her face, the rock that was sitting inside my gut dissipates. Her reply makes me happy.

  “He does all of those things, he’s such a gentleman,” she swoons, then goes on to gush about their lunch date, as well as several other times over the last month he’s tried to capture her affection. It only reiterates how great I know he is.

  Listening to this sweet girl go on about my friend, I realize now how selfish I’ve been with both of them. Seeing the light in Ashlynn’s eyes is all the proof I need, and the idea of the two of them together just feels right. I mean, sure, I did wish to be the object of someone’s affection and attention like that, but Donald isn’t the one for me.

  I need to do some serious soul-searching during this mini-holiday where my friends would be away. It was time for some self-reflection and maybe a kick to my own ass. The only one standing in my way of finding what Ashlynn seems to have found with Donald, is me.

  “Gav, you’ve got a delivery up here,” Nolan pops his head in, his phone glued to his ear. “You’ve got to sign for it.”

  “Thanks,” I acknowledge, but he’s already turned and walked away. Shoving the last bite of my sandwich into my mouth, I wrap the contents of my half-eaten bowl of soup and make a mental note to remember it when I go home tonight. It would be a crying shame to leave it overnight, I could enjoy the rest of it for dinner.

  “Ugh, I guess I better get back to it. I have some things to finish up before I leave,” Ashlynn says, closing the lid to her cup of goop as she stands. Healthy or not, the stuff looks like something straight out of The Exorcist.

  “You’re leaving tomorrow night, right?” I ask, following her out of the tiny kitchenette. She says hello to the bike messenger that is not Tad, and I thank the man with a tip after signing for the manilla envelope that feels rather heavy.

  I note that it’s from the office of Kebra and Shaw, and I dread knowing what’s inside. I’ve gone up against the firm a couple of different times, and they usually represent multi-billion-dollar companies that have extremely precise and detailed, iron-clad contracts. It’s guaranteed to keep me busy during the holiday at least.

  “No, I’m leaving Friday, but bright and early because of the snow coming in.” I’d heard on the radio on my commute this morning that we’re expected to get several feet by the end of the weekend. I did not envy her long ride to the airport.

  “It’s a good thing you aren’t driving, it’s supposed to be icy,” I tell her, a little jealous now that I’m thinking about it. While I love the snowy winters in New York, the icy roads and idiot city-folk mentality aren’t conducive to safety on the roadways or the general public. I could love the snow from the cozy warmth of the indoors. I dread needing to get out in it. I make another mental note to hit the grocery store on my way home, I need to stock up in case the weather gets bad.

  “You could come with me to Iowa,” Ashlyn suggests, now having a chance to ask since I was finished being awkward around her. She’s made it very clear how she feels about me staying home and being alone for the holiday. Ashlynn is very close to her family back home.

  “I’m sure, but I appreciate you wanting to look after me,” I tell her with a smile, touched that she cares so much.

  “Yeah, well, somebody’s got to do it, right?” she teases, sounding very put out. My heart warms with such gratitude, I’m really lucky to have her and Nolan in my life. I’d be a sad sack of something else if I didn’t. “Now get back to work, I’ve got a lot to get done.”

  Effectively dismissed, I can’t help but snicker as I wrap my arms around her shoulders for a quick hug. She grumbles for show, but I know she cares a great deal for Nolan and me. I’ll be sad to see her eventually go, especially when she figures out what she wants to do with the rest of her life. I know that just because she’ll no longer work here, doesn’t mean that she’ll no longer be a part of our lives. We’re a family, the three of us.

  Heading back to my office, I take a second to listen to the few voicemails I’d received while enjoying squeezing in a late lunch. I toss the envelope to the side as I get ready for my next meeting, knowing that whatever is in there would have to wait. I’d need to give it my undivided attention, as it was guaranteed to be pages of word games that I was likely going to have to sift through for hours. Grabbing it, on second thought, I go ahead and put it in my bag to take home tonight. I’d likely even need a glass of wine to get through it as well.

  Three hours later, I cross out my last scheduled appointment and toss my glasses to my desk. Shaking out the cramps in my hand, I blink heavily and save the newly revised document so I can look over it tomorrow and make sure everything looks good. If all parties agree on my revisions, I’ll be able to close the case out and have two very happy new business owners, as well as a new gym opening up a few blocks from my apartment. Win-win!